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Manchester United’s Patrice Evra Fell Into The Stands And Got His Butthole...
Pictured: the scene of the crime(via Getty Image) Reminder to any ladies attending a live soccer match: soccer games are not your friend’s bachelorette party. Keep your hands to yourself. Manchester...
View ArticleStadium-Wide Brazilian Soccer Brawls, Now With Helicopters
SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA The World Cup in Brazil is going to be great. People are having severed heads dropped on their doorstep, the soccer stadiums are collapsing and the dead are coming...
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A Greek Cup Match Was Delayed By A Stadium Full Of Fans With Flares And Now...
Via YouTube We’ve already covered crazy soccer fans throwing flares at players and trying to burn down a stadium, so here’s the logical followup: a Greek Cup match between PAOK and Olympiacos was...
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Tottenham Fans Have Made Flyers To Help Find ‘Lost’ Erik Lamela
Via Twitter It’s safe to say that Erik Lamela’s first season with Tottenham has been a complete bust, namely because I spent about an hour reading random reports about him, and I can’t find anyone who...
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A Chinese Man Might Have Died From Sleep Deprivation While Watching The World...
Shutterstock (Original) Despite the fact that China isn’t competing in the 2014 FIFA World Cup tournament, fans in the People’s Republic are still staying up all night and into the earliest hours of...
View ArticleAnd Now, A Compilation Of Americans Freaking Out Over The John Brooks Goal
“Americans don’t like soccer,” they say. “They don’t appreciate the sophistication of it like the rest of the world,” fans in other countries tell each other. But then, after the American men pulled...
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The Search For The Most Insanely Dedicated World Cup Fan Has Ended With This Guy
Getty Image There won’t be any crazy World Cup fan reaction videos being uploaded to YouTube after today’s 0-0 tie between Mexico and Brazil, unless you’re the kind of person who loves watching people...
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A Brief But Important Ranking Of The Best Fans From Today’s World Cup Action
Getty Image Another day, another series of incredibly close and exciting 2014 FIFA World Cup soccer matches, as we watched from the edge of our seats as several teams fought to the bitter ends to keep...
View ArticleThings Got Pretty Ugly Between Brazilian And Argentinian World Cup Fans
If you’re the type of person who is easily shocked and surprised, you might want to sit down and maybe strap on a helmet for this one. After the bars closed in Belo Horizonte, Brazil this morning,...
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Governor Andrew Cuomo Has Granted New Yorkers An Extra Hour Of Lunch So They...
Getty (Original) United States Men’s National Team Coach Jürgen Klinsmann made even more fans happy this week when he shared a form letter that they could use to get out of work to watch America take...
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People Were Really Pissed That Landon Donovan Cheered Against The US (Even...
ESPN If you’ve ever been fired or laid off from a job, it’s a pretty typical response to hope for everyone at that company to get scabies, even if it was totally your fault that you got the ax....
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This Is What Chicago’s Soldier Field Looks Like For The US World Cup Game
Via Twitter There are World Cup watch parties in just about every major city in America right now, so I’m not trying to pretend like any one of them is better than another. But the US Soccer Twitter...
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Germany Whooped The Hell Out Of Brazil And The Internet Had A Spectacular Time
Via Twitter The jokes started rolling in before halftime even began, that’s how bad today’s World Cup semifinal matchup between Germany and Brazil was. Obviously, most soccer fans knew that Brazil was...
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Soccer Continues To Have Some Seriously Messed Up Fans
Getty Image Let me try to explain the average European soccer fan to you. Take the most obscene Philly guy imaginable, the one who boos Santa Claus. And take the raunchiest female in the Black Hole,...
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Turkish Soccer Fans Booed And Chanted During A Moment Of Silence For Paris
Turkish fans booed a minute of silence on those killed in #ParisAttacks during a match with #Greece. pic.twitter.com/lP56oXUO19 — Zaid Benjamin (@zaidbenjamin) November 17, 2015 The scene above comes...
View ArticleArgentina Should Not Have Blenders
Roberto Pettinato is the host of a show called “A Perfect World” in Argentina, and while I think that title would be more suited for a show about Brazilian models, Pettinato apparently used it as a...
View ArticlePolish Soccer Fans Are Pretty Cool
Say what you want about their submarine doors and flashlights, but Polish people are pretty hellbent on their soccer support. The Lech Poznan under-12 team recently competed in the 2010 Lech Cup and...
View ArticleThis Police Dog Really Loves Soccer
A soccer match between the Brazilian teams Boa and UEC received a little interruption during a game last week, as a police dog ran onto the field and stole the ball. The crowd seemed to love it, but...
View ArticleIt is Hard to Tweet for Two Hours
I left on all the watermarks in the hope that you'd believe I didn't make this. What’s better than reading about soccer on the Internet? Reading what happens when a soccer player signs up for Twitter...
View ArticleCeltic Manager Religiously Hate Crimed During Game
During last night’s heated NBA playoffs, a 26-year-old man tried to assault Celtic manager Doc Rivers, who — wait, I’m not reading this right. European papers never provide context, they just assume I...
View ArticleToday in Random Soccer Fighting
In a story that might as well be called “this is why we can’t have nice things,” police were called to an end-of-season awards dinner at London’s Grosvenor House Hotel to investigate disturbances...
View ArticleThanks to Fire, Soccer is Now Even More Dangerous
The headline “soccer fans throw firecracker at soccer player” would seem pretty normal at this point. Somebody is upset about something, they throw fire. I watch pro wrestling, I know how it goes....
View ArticleThe Best Part Of Soccer Is When Everybody Punches Everybody Else
I almost called it “Boom, Headshot”. This clip (by way of Dan Steinberg of The Washington Post) teaches a valuable lesson — if you are brave enough to run out onto the grass at FedEx Field during a...
View ArticleWhat A Great Soccer Game We’re Having I’ll Just Pick Up This OH MY GOD GRENADE
So, uh, this happened. During a local club match in Isfahan, Iran some spectators threw a hand grenade on field, a player found it and thought it was some other object and threw it on sidelines just in...
View ArticleSoccer Fans Are Trying To Blow Up Their Least Favorite Players
In the grand tradition of somebody throwing a grenade at soccer players comes this clip from Sunday’s match between Anorthosis and Omonia Nicosia, wherein a player gets injured and somebody in the...
View ArticleSee If You Can Figure Out Whether Or Not This Lady Wants To See Totti
Francesco Totti is the captain of Serie A football club Roma, and he’s a pretty popular guy. Don’t believe me? Watch this video of a weird lady showing up at a train station to meet him, and...
View ArticleRussian Soccer Fans Celebrate A Win By Trying To Kill Everybody With Fire
It’s getting harder and harder to shock you with violent soccer stories. Soccer players are always either wiping their blood on each other or starting kung fu gang brawls or being blown up by grenades,...
View ArticlePeople Are Still Throwing Explosives At Soccer Players
I’m not going to call them “grenades” anymore because people on the Internet know way too much about the semantics of what is and isn’t a grenade (“grenades have shrapnel!”), but this is the third...
View ArticleMillwall And FC Dallas Made This A Horrible Weekend Play Soccer
It wasn’t a great weekend for Texas sports. Aside from the horrible stuff that went down at the NRA 500, the generally serene-ish FC Dallas Stadium got violent when a player from … uh, FC Dallas scored...
View ArticleWith Leather’s Watch This: These Swedish And Danish Soccer Hooligans Are Angry
The above video of psychotic hooligans for Sweden’s GAIS and Denmark’s FC Copehagen and Helsingborg IF beating the life out of each other got me thinking about why I really don’t even like sports...
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With Leather’s Watch This: Fans Got A Little Rowdy During The Beskitas And...
I couldn’t believe it when I heard about it, but apparently soccer fans acted crazy and violent during a match this weekend, and now my whole opinion of that peaceful, friendly sport may be damaged...
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Tottenham Hotspur Fans Threw A Flare At A Referee Because Attempted Murder Is...
One of the things I’ve learned most about in my years running a comedy sports blog is how ready soccer fans are to throw exploding things at people on a soccer field. We’ve already reported on...
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